Hi everyone, happy Spring! 🌷
For the last few months I have found myself struggling with self happiness. As my husband and I have shared, our miscarriage early this year has taken a toll on us emotionally. And over the last few months I’ve been having to go in every week for blood tests to monitor my hcg levels (basically we’ve been tracking the very SLOW process of my body getting rid of left over pregnancy hormones). I’ve also been traveling back and forth from Virginia, our home, to Vermont where my son spends a portion of his time each month. It’s a lot of driving and up until this last week we’ve had a very unreliable car. Our Nissan Rogue would literally just decide not to start at very random times! Talk about frustrating and inconvenient. Half way through my road trips I would be stuck because the car wouldn’t start back up. But thankfully we now have an adorable Subaru Crosstrek that we LOVE! And yes, it starts. 😂
Life is full of ups and downs. But I know I’m in control of my own happiness. Now this may sound silly and not at all connecting with how you control your emotions but it’s really helped me in this last month; throw away expectations. Having expectations can lead to problems, in my opinion. One day I woke up and kind of said I’m not going to ask anything of anyone. I started small. Anytime I’d ask my husband to do something for me, I stopped and did it myself. I know it sounds silly but I felt a change in my own happiness when I stopped asking for help. If the dog needed walking I didn’t say anything, I just did it. Or if the trash needed to be taken out, I’d usually ask my husband to do it when he walked the dog next, but instead I saw it needed to be taken out so I took care of it! There is no issue with asking for help but life is unpredictable, so it feels good to take control and do things for myself when I know I can do something.
Having no expectations also makes the moment of having something done for you feel SO good! Like some mornings I’ll wake up to the dishes being done, something so simple totally made my day. I also believe that I’ve become a better and more FUN mom. With little expectation on how a day will go leaves so much room for laughs. Ever since I was a little girl I was a perfectionist but if I try to be a perfectionist as a mom, every activity becomes robotic. Coloring inside the lines? Boring. Playing with only one color play- doh at a time? Means no rainbows… how lame! An example would be my son always wanting to shower with me. I normally come home from the gym and immediately want to jump in the shower to relax but Bo follows me and asks to join. Taking a shower with a two year old means loud noises, stepping on toy animals AND sharing the hot water. 🙈 BUT GUESS WHAT…. there will come a day, very soon, when Bo will not be taking showers with me anymore. So for now when he wants to hop in the shower with me, there is no way I’m saying no!
A short post, but being happy is up to you. Don’t rely on anyone else to make you happy, those are just the bonus happy moments! 💕